Michael
Hall PhD
Brooklyn,
New York
Sunday February 19, 2012
Sunday February 19, 2012
Binghamton, NY
Sunday March 4, 2012
Feelings are Fine
For those on a
serious spiritual path, there is often confusion about the best way to handle
the arising of emotional states. Potentially disruptive emotional reactions are
common experiences for those who are seriously pursuing a spiritual path. This
fact seems reasonable when we remember that the path of awakening involves
becoming fully aware of automatic, conditioned reactions. A primary purpose of
conditioning is to allow us to be emotionally and physically numb to our self,
and thereby more comfortable with inauthentic behaviors in ourselves and
others. As our ability to see and know what is real progressively expands, this
protective numbing wears away, leaving us less buffered, more open, less
defended. The more we are able to recognize and embrace what is real, the more
intimate we become with all that is. This increased openness to all experience,
which could also be called ‘presence’, is wonderful and is an aspect of what we
are seeking.
However, as conditioned reactions and their
attendant numbing diminish, emotional and physical ‘side effects’ may well
emerge as an inevitable part of this process. What is the most effective way to
‘manage’ such reactions? Spiritual practices may be helpful in containing such
reactions, yet may also become powerful defenses in themselves. At times
spiritual practices and even glimpses of awakening may even be used to avoid
emotional pain and suffering. “Spiritual bypassing” is a term that has been
used to describe “the
use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful
feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs.” (see below for a fuller
description).
Anger, resentment,
jealousy, contempt, desire, aversion, and so forth are normal aspects of the
human experience, yet these and other negative feelings are sometimes hard to
reconcile with Buddhist, Christian and Advaita teachings on compassion and
forgiveness. We are encouraged to not judge others; yet brief experiences with
self observation of ongoing mental content reveal an unending stream of
judgments of self and others. In this workshop we will focus on the importance
of becoming aware of and radically accepting all of our experience, exactly as
it is, without judgment, suppression, denial or avoidance. Negative thoughts
and feelings arise spontaneously. These experiences are a normal part of the
functioning of the conditioned mind. As such they are not particularly
important. We tend to give far too much importance to all of our thoughts,
beliefs, and feelings. Learning to observe these inner experiences with
tolerance, acceptance, mild curiosity, and lack of judgment is a necessary
first step to releasing their grip on us.
Once these
experiences are brought into full awareness, much of the energy that fuels them
is dissipated naturally, without any extra effort on our part. ‘Seeing things
directly, as they are’ is often all that is needed. This practice of
recognizing and embracing our experience fully, exactly as it is, will be our
primary focus. Often this willingness to see and accept what is real is all
that is required to dissipate obstructions. Particularly sticky, deeply
ingrained patterns of belief and conditioned reactions may require some kind of
more direct and formal intervention. We will also discuss options available to
help loosen ingrained blind spots and obstructions.
The following is excerpted from Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality
Disconnects Us from What Really Matters, by Robert Augustus Masters,
available from North Atlantic Books (2010).
Disconnects Us from What Really Matters, by Robert Augustus Masters,
available from North Atlantic Books (2010).
Avoidance in Holy Drag: An Introduction to Spiritual Bypassing
Spiritual bypassing, a term
first coined by psychologist John Welwood in
1984, is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our
painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. It is much more
common than we might think and, in fact, is so pervasive as to go largely
unnoticed, except in its more obvious extremes.
1984, is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our
painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. It is much more
common than we might think and, in fact, is so pervasive as to go largely
unnoticed, except in its more obvious extremes.
full article: http://www.realitysandwich.com/spiritual_bypassing
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